What Christian Youth Coaches Need to Know to About Food and Body Issues
Are you up for a game?
Raise a hand. Now, put a finger down if:
You have ever participated in a sport or athletics
You are coaching or have ever coached a sport
You are a parent or loved one to a child that is participating or has participated in a sport
A coach or parent related to your involvement in athletics has said harmful words to you
You were turned off from athletics based on a hurtful experience
How many fingers do you have down? I would imagine you at least have one since sports have been and continue to be a predominant cultural influence. Sports can be great for confidence building, physical health, and positive social interaction.
Unfortunately for some, involvement in sports (especially ones focused on body size) can increase eating disorder behaviors, body insecurity, and an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise. Those aren’t really things most of us wish for ourselves, our children, or our loved ones, so let's chat about some solutions!
First off, if you are a coach, especially a volunteer coach, let me just say THANK YOU. For 99% of the coaches out there, the work requires a lot of hours and hard work for not a lot of money. However, despite low pay and high criticism, the work you do holds BIG power.
If you had a coach as a young child, I bet you can still remember things he or she said to you. To most children, a coach is an important role model, and to some children, a coach is their everything. With the varying backgrounds and home situations that children come from, the honor of being their coach is huge. If that feels like a lot of pressure, also know that it’s not all on you.
For believers, the Holy Spirit is working through you and with you. The children on the teams are first and foremost God’s. That can be helpful to keep in mind the next time one of them smarts off or rolls her eyes at you!
Regardless of the trying situations, the kids on your team have been placed in your care for a purpose! Obviously, your job as a coach is to teach athletic skills, but you also get the chance to instill God-honoring lifelong habits in the lives of your athletes. One of those habits you get the opportunity to teach is how to foster a healthy relationship with food, body, and exercise.
How to Foster A Healthy Relationship with Food, Body, and Exercise in a Young Athlete
Knowledge is Power. Eating disorders can be serious and life-threatening. Knowing the early warning signs is important to prevent a dangerous situation.
Symptoms of an Eating Disorder:
(from the National Eating Disorders Association)
Decreased energy, athletic performance
Increased injuries
Heightened sensitivity to cold
Frequent dizziness/light-headedness
A change in social patterns
Increased perfectionism
Avoidance of water or fluid intake
Preoccupation with food (over-eating/under-eating/extreme monitoring of healthy food)
Excessive exercising
Complaints of stomach pain or digestive issues
These are just a few of the symptoms, and they can be hard to notice since the person struggling often tries to hide them. Getting to know your team members’ personalities and establishing an environment of respect and trust can greatly help you be more aware of trouble.
*Easy application: During water breaks at practice, try asking some of your athletes about their day at school or if they have any big tests coming up.*
Sharing Christ with Athletes
Showing that you care about the participants as people teaches them they are worthy for more than their athletic performance. Many body image, food, and eating disorders stem from a belief of unworthiness. Some athletes combat this feeling by seeking success in sports. In reality, sports can’t save, only Jesus can.
Grace for mistakes: In most coaching situations, it’s not allowable to speak about Jesus or Christianity but you still can shine His light through your life. When your athletes make mistakes (over and over and over) what an opportunity to model Christ’s grace. Yes, as a coach you certainly reteach the skill, but as an ambassador of Christ, you also preserve the child’s worth. How defeating would it be if God screamed and demeaned us every time we messed up? I know I’d be in trouble!
Showing Perspective when Losing: Another opportunity to model Christ’s spirit is when your team loses. I get how hard this is! I’m competitive and can get as wrapped up in winning as Nick Saban. In fact, recently my daughter had a big cheerleading competition. I help coach the team so we were both nervous and excited. Then at midnight in our hotel room, a stomach virus changed the plans. She was sick all night and could barely lift her head. Her team, me, and especially her were all extremely disappointed. This all happened in the middle of me writing this blog post. Talk about having to live out my words! Yikes. I prayed that God would help me empathize with my daughter and help her find perspective in this opportunity. It’s honestly through the losses where the best lessons are learned. A single game or competition do not determine someone’s worth and joy. So much is learned and should be celebrated from persevering day in and day out in practice.
For every accomplishment that takes place out out on the court or the mat, there’s been a ton of mess-ups, retries, and breakthroughs in practice. Praising athletes for what takes place behind the scenes is a great model of how God calls for us to do many things that isn’t primarily to be seen by others.
Language to Use for Christian Coaches
Showing Christ to your team isn’t easy work, but with His Spirit, it’s possible and very worthwhile! As God’s beloved children, they deserve care to the words we speak to them. Here are some examples of helpful and not so helpful language to use.
Language to Avoid
Negative body talk about your body or anyone on the team
“You could run faster if you weighed less.”
“I wish I was still as fit and small as you all are. Now I just feel big and ugly.”
Instead, try this…
Praise attitudes, strength, progress
“I love your dedication to improving on this skill. You’ve shown a lot of perseverance!”
Moralistic language concerning food
“I was so bad yesterday and ate fast food and candy.” or “You are so good eating that apple and not junk food like they are.”
Instead, try this…
Encourage adequate nutrition before and after workouts like eating carbs and protein. Promote a healthy balance of all foods.
Comparative language
“If you were as skinny as ______, you might not be as out of breath right now!”
“You are in the most important position on this team. It’s up to you to stay fit!”
Instead, try this…
All body sizes are valued and play an important role.
“You are so good in this position because of your God-given strength / agility and the attitude you bring”
Glorifying disordered eating or exercising
“Oh wow, I can tell you’ve been cutting back on the calories lately. Looking fit and lean!”
“Everyone notice how hard ____ is pushing herself. She never stops!”
“You better work overtime if you want to be a winner!”
“I don’t care if you are sick or hurt, push through it!”
From an actual coach I had, “I had mono when I was in college and was actually really glad because I lost a lot of weight and kept it off!”
Instead, try this…
Notice and respond privately to warning signs of disordered behaviors.
“Hey, you seem to not have as much energy lately and have been losing a lot of weight. Are things ok?”
“You worked really hard at practice. I know you want to win tomorrow, but you are exhausted and need to focus on rest so that you don’t injure yourself.”
“I understand that you are injured. Rest is the way to recovery. We’ll be here when you can rejoin us.”
Changing the way we speak can be as hard as learning a foreign language. It’s especially hard when we’ve become so accustomed to hearing damaging words that are acceptable in culture. However, when we know better we can do better.
God’s ultimate desire for all of his children is to come to know Christ and live abundantly, overflowing with the fruits of His spirit. The avenue of sports is an amazing opportunity to teach these skills! Keep up the hard work.
A Prayer for Athletes and Coaches
God, thank you for the gifts of our bodies that bring so much joy to life. I praise you for allowing physical movement that teaches perseverance and self-control. Help me to use those skills in my spiritual journey with you. Thank you for the community of my team. Shine through me to show them your love. When I mess up or lose, remind me that I am still worthy because I am your beloved child. Thank you for Jesus who makes me perfectly whole.
Amen
Below is a resource you could share with young athletes about how the fruits of the Spirit can apply to them.
Fruits of the Spirit, Athlete Edition
Based on my book Good to Grow, focus on cultivating these fruits to help your young athlete grow both physcially and spiritually, reaping benefits not for this life only but for the one to come.
Love: You don’t have to always like everything about your body, but you can love it by respecting it and taking care of it with balanced nutrition and appropriate exercise. God loves you and all body types. He has a purpose for the body he put you in. Just as each part of the body has a special role, the strengths of your body play a valuable role for the team.
Joy: Wins, athletic achievements, and strong bodies are temporary joys but not everlasting. True joy is found from hope in Christ.
Peace: You won’t always be able to athletically achieve as much as you’d like. You may want to look different or perform differently, but you still can have peace with your body as it is. It is a good body that can do so many good things. You can also be at peace with food. It gives you the energy to do exciting things like play sports. Food isn’t your enemy or your best friend, but it is your fuel and can be enjoyable.
Patience: Give your body the patience you would give your closest loved one. Your body will change, some years more than others. Especially during puberty, weight gain is normal for all the growth your body is going through. Though normal, that can feel frustrating and uncomfortable. As God is patient with you, He can help you be patient with your body.
Kindness: Exercise is kind to your body. Movement gives your body energy and strength. It is to build your body up, not tear it down. Kind actions for your body can still be challenging, but don’t need to be punishing. When your body shows signs that it’s had too much exercise, needs to rest, or needs food, treat it kindly and listen.
Goodness: You are good not because of what your body can do or what it looks like but because you were created by God in His image. You were created on purpose, for a purpose. You are “good” in God’s eyes through the saving blood of Jesus. If your body doesn’t feel good, perform well, or look good, that doesn’t take away your goodness.
Faithfulness: God is faithful to you, always. Whether you make mistakes in sports or in life, God is faithful to forgive you. When you feel weary or less than, stay faithful to God, even when it feels hard, just as you do when you perseverance through physical training.
Gentleness: Your body does a lot of hard work. It deserves some gentle TLC. Train your body steadily and safely. Going too harsh or extreme can lead to injury and burnout which won’t do you or your team any good. Good things come in time.
Self-Control: Self-control of your body begins in your mind and heart and through the power of God’s spirit. Relying on Him is truly the way to be “self” controlled. When you feel like working your body too hard or not wanting to take care of it at all, ask God to give you the strength to treat it well. Give yourself grace and freedom to rest your body and eat enjoyable foods so that you won’t feel a need to binge on those things later. Consistent and moderate satisfaction leads to a greater ability to be self-controlled in the long-term.
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